Lessons from God

Quick Update:

- Kacee had a sonogram Wednesday evening.  Her fluids measured great!  Landry weighed in at just over 6lbs, and was in picture perfect head-down position.  

- Kacee's contractions have been consistent (but not intense) and few and far between.

- Overall, it was a very good checkup.  In fact, it was so good that the doctors all agreed that Kacee was clear to go home!!!  With her amnio levels in check, and Landry in perfect position, we were given the option to leave the hospital. (Which caught us completely by surprise!)

- All our doctors are amazed at Kacee/Landry's progress, and admitted that they didn't expect us to make to this far (37 weeks!)   

- After giving it some thought and taking one night to sleep on it, we decided to pack up our stuff and return home.  Now she is enjoying bedrest from the comfort of our own couch and king sized bed!

- The doctors have scheduled a planned c-section for Tuesday, June 11th.

It sure feels good to be home for a few days.  We look forward to laying low until Landry's Birthday. Tomorrow will begin the last weekend of our lives as a family of two!  We hope to just enjoy our time together, watching movies, hanging out, reflecting on all the blessings in our life. 

Now for the lesson.... 

This is common knowledge for many of you, but Kacee and I have known each other for quite some time.  In fact, our story dates back to 6th grade.  It's fair to say that God began to lay a foundation long ago, allowing our paths to constantly cross, as we journeyed through Bradley Middle School and MacArthur High School, sharing many classes along the way.  But mere proximity is not the matter here.  As years passed, we not only tackled the same homework assignments, but spawned a friendship that would stand the test of time.  Even during our college years at Baylor and TCU, we always kept in touch and maintained a level of companionship that extended far beyond any typical friendship.  My point is that Kacee and I grew to know and love each other in ways that only true friends can comprehend.  Through the years, our late night conversations not only deepened our relationship, but enabled us to expose the depths of our hearts.  

Today, as life partners, we continue to nurture our friendship and share our thoughts with one another through collaborative discussions and intimate prayer.  As we draw from the many years we've shared, our minds and hearts uninhibitedly open up to lengthy discussions and heartfelt petitions.  

In light of our recent undertaking as expectant parents, Kacee and I ask ourselves the question: What is God teaching us right now?  Our practice is that of seeking counsel from our Lord, rather than dwelling on the seemingly "imperfect" circumstances.  We do not ignore the fact that our doctors have diagnosed our baby Landry with a heart defect and DiGeorge Syndrome, but instead, focus on how He is working in our lives and what He is trying to teach us.  Rather than focusing on why this is happening to us, we are trying to understand how we are to handle this through Him.

Our conversation led to many conclusions.  We would like to share, perhaps, our two greatest takeaways....

1.) Realizing that we know nothing.  Our intuition can sometimes lead us down a path to disappointment, or confusion.  Forgive me; I don't mean to sound melancholy.  Let me word it this way: just when we think we know what will happen, God proves to have a different plan.  For instance, a few weeks ago, we trusted our own disposition and knew that Landry was clear of all issues and free from any complications---until our 32 week sonogram revealed otherwise.  Then, we trusted our gut feeling (often mistaken as a conviction) and knew that there was no syndrome associated with our baby--until our amnio results indicated otherwise.  Then, we knew our hospital stay would last the entire length of Kacee's pregnancy--until our doctors all agreed to release us from the hospital and send us home for a few days.  Get the idea??  It's quite obvious that God is teaching us a lesson in submission.  Not in submitting to this fallen world and the tribulations associated with it, but to His sovereign plan for our lives. 

James 4:7 - "Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." 

Romans 8:28 - " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." 

But we still feel heavy sometimes.  And many times our eyes can't help but well up with tears when we  think about what Landry might be up against.  Kacee and I pray for strength, but at times still feel weak.  Overall, we are winning the mental war, but must admit that we've lost a few battles along the way.  But we do our best to take it all in stride...the good days with the bad.  We continue to battle against fear, worry, and anxiety.  It brings us comfort to remind ourselves that Landry's condition is no  surprise to our God.  Long before we were pregnant, He knew that at 32 weeks we would be blindsided by this storm and Kacee would be restricted to bedrest.  He knew we'd be fighting our emotions.  It brings us peace that He knows what lies ahead of us.  He knows how to equip us.  We are learning to submit to the Lord and accept that we don't know the plan (which is especially difficult for Polly the Planner, aka: Kacee).   

Kacee and I have never surrendered our lives to the Lord as much as we have in the last five weeks.  It is a spiritual discipline that we are improving each day, and each time, it yields such a wonderful feeling!  To surrender to the Lord is the essence of Christianity.  In doing so, we are empowered with the Holy Spirit and able to claim victory.  It is a gift from the Lord; our soul's freedom from fear and anxiety.  It is just one of the many promises He makes to us in Scripture:

Phil 4:6-7 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

2.) Our hearts have grown!  Not only are we more in love with our savior, Jesus Christ, who willingly suffered for our sake, so that we could have salvation and live in eternal peace and unity with the Father, but we are also more in love with this child He's given us, Landry Kate.  We cannot wait to meet her, to hold her, to love her, and to raise her in such a way that she will know her name, and her purpose, and find her identity in Christ.  

Kacee told me a story from her childhood.  She was just a little girl, living near their ranch in New Mexico.  At school, her classroom assignment was to fill out a questionnaire about what she wanted to be when she grew up.  Without hesitation, she filled it out and told her school teacher that she couldn't wait to be a mommy!  

I believe God sovereignly laid that desire on her heart long ago.  Needless to say, Kacee has looked forward to beginning this chapter of her life.  And personally, with all due respect to all of you reading this blog entry, I cannot think of a woman more equipped to embrace the role of a loving, Godly mother.  

Kacee and I get excited when talking about Landry!  Long ago, before we had even given her a name, we prayed over our baby and agreed that she was destined to do great things.  Now, months later, we've already seen evidence of the Holy Spirit working through her as a witness to others.  

God has taught us that our heart's capacity to love increases as we grow closer to Him.  Coincidentally, that love multiplied when He blessed us with a child.  His child.  What an honor it is to parent a child of Christ!  In His perfect ways, He has prepared Landry for this life...and we are ready to embrace her!

What is God teaching you right now??